1:
I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha
2:
Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your kids.
3:
It's been Monday all week.
4:
I brake for no apparent reason.
5:
Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat.
6:
Every silver lining has a cloud.
7:
I can resist everything except temptation.
8:
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
9:
Yes, As A Matter Of Fact, I Do Own The Whole Damn Road.
10:
Men are proof that women have a sense of humor.
11:
Everyone Is Entitled To My Opinion
12:
I may be slow; but I'm ahead of you.
13:
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.
14:
Life may suck, but it beats the alternative.
15:
The buck doesn't even slow down here.
16:
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
17:
Why do they call it a bumper if your not going to use it?
18:
I've been dieting for the past month, but all I lost was 31 days.
19:
Life is too complicated in the morning.
20:
My wife's other car is a broom.
21:
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
22:
No matter how bad it gets, It can always get worse.
23:
If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport.
24:
When she told me I was average, I figured she was just being mean.
25:
I came, I saw, I did some shopping.
26:
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
27:
This is the rebel base.
28:
Don't rub the lamp unless you're ready for the genie.
29:
Was today really necessary?
30:
If you always take time to stop and smell the roses...sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.
31:
Cynics are people who know the price of everything, but the value of nothing.
32:
I miss my wife, but my aim is getting better.
33:
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
34:
If you're rich, I'm single.
35:
I'm Out Of Bed And Dressed. What More Do You Want?
36:
Women are born leaders, LOOK you are following one now.
37:
Wouldn't it be nice if there were an Escape key for all of our problems?
38:
My Lawyer Can Beat Your Lawyer.
39:
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
40:
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
41:
Pol-I-Tics poli meaning many, ticks meaning small blood sucking parasites.
42:
Don't start with me. You know how I get.
43:
Microbiology Lab: Staph Only.
44:
Welcome to reality...come again soon.
45:
Stupidity should be punished.
46:
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.
47:
Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
48:
Honk if you like peace and quiet.
49:
If we outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns.
50:
I am represented by the Law Firm of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe.
51:
I'm out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?
53:
You Are Depriving Some Village Of Its Idiot
54:
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
55:
I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
56:
It's been one of those days all week
57:
I've lost my phone number - can I have yours?
58:
Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for you they can't laugh either.
59:
Every time you speak you make someone dumber for listening to you.
60:
When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.
61:
Don't Piss Me Off! I'm Running Out Of Places To Hide The Bodies.
62:
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
63:
This car is designed by computer, built by a robot, driven by a moron.
64:
Gravity always gets me down.
65:
Never cut what you can untie.
66:
My daughter turned down your honor student.
67:
Why am I so thirsty when I drank so much last night?
68:
I owe, I owe, so it's off to work I go.
69:
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
70:
Everybody looks brave holding a machine gun.
71:
Don't start with me, you won't win.
72:
I was an atheist until I realized I was GOD.
73:
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
74:
Instead of concentrating on this bumper sticker, maybe you should be concentrating on the road.
75:
What if the Hokey Pokey really is what its all about?
76:
I'm Not A Complete Idiot; Some Parts Are Missing.
77:
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all it's students.
78:
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
79:
I'm objective; I object to everything.
80:
He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
81:
Honk If Anything Falls Off
82:
I've upped my standards, now up yours.
83:
Have you ever had deja vu? Have you ever had deja vu?
84:
The road to hell is paved with Republicans.
85:
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
86:
Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.
87:
If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
88:
I Think Feminists Are Cute
89:
Today's subliminal message is: ( )
90:
Doctor's say I have a multiple personality, but we don't agree with that.
91:
So many pedestrians, so little time
92:
I left the womb for this?
93:
My other car sticker is funny.
94:
Please, do not feed the ego.
95:
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
96:
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
97:
Just say NO to negativity.
98:
I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
99:
Life's a beach, and then you drown.
100:
Everything Is Somewhere.
102:
Atheism is a non-profit organization.
103:
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
104:
It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
105:
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
106:
Cute and definitely huggable...YES, me!
107:
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving ain't for you.
108:
When all else fails, manipulate the data.
109:
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
110:
It takes more faith to believe that I came from a monkey than to believe that I came from God.
111:
My other auto is a 9MM.
112:
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
113:
If you get any closer I'll fart.
114:
Energizer Bunny Arrested; Charged With Battery
115:
Stop Reading My Bumper Stickers and DRIVE.
116:
Nothing is illegal until you get caught.
117:
Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out alive.
118:
Honk if you hate noise pollution.
119:
Plagiarism is copying from one source; research is copying from two or more.
120:
I'd rather be fishing
121:
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
122:
There is one in every crowd and they always find me.
123:
Life is a terminal disease.
124:
I fish! Therefore, I lie.
126:
Don't make me go medieval on you.
127:
LOVE: two vowels, two consonants, and two fools.
128:
Spare the fenders, save the trees, give the sober friend the keys.
130:
Just when you think you have won the Rat Race, along come faster rats.
131:
There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who can count & those who can't.
132:
DETEST - de stuff de teacher gives de students when ya expect it de least.
133:
The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.
134:
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
135:
Support wildlife, throw a party.
136:
I'd rather be a failure at something I love, than a success at something I hate.
137:
If a man states an opinion and there is no woman to hear it, is he still wrong?
138:
I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me.
139:
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
140:
If something goes without saying - LET IT
141:
Mistakes are proof that you are trying.
142:
Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
144:
I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
145:
Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand.
146:
I can handle pain until it hurts.
147:
Don't laugh; it's paid for.
148:
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her... or something like that.
149:
Enjoy life it's not a dress rehearsal.
150:
I am overjoyed with whelm.
151:
We are the people our parents warned us about.
152:
The meek will Internet the world.
154:
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and the world laughs at you.
155:
To be loved, be lovable.
156:
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
157:
Life isn't weird; it's the people in it.
158:
Caution: I drive like you do.
159:
How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?
160:
I brake for .. wait .. AAAH! .. NO BRAKES!!!!!
161:
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
162:
Musicians Duet Better
163:
I'm serious; it was a joke.
164:
If you feel attacked by feminism, it's probably a counter attack.
165:
I'm only a hypochondriac when I feel sick.
166:
That's all I'm saying and I ain't saying no more.
167:
I'm not really a driver, I just play one on TV.
168:
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
169:
If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
170:
Hey idiot - You're driving a car, not a phone booth.
171:
Don't wash this vehicle - Undergoing scientific dirt test
172:
He who farts in church sits on his own pew.
173:
They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
174:
If it Ain't Broke... Fix It .. Til It Is
175:
I believe in getting in hot water; it keeps you clean.
176:
If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.
177:
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
178:
I believe the Internet is an information source, not a lifestyle choice.
179:
I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
180:
There are 2 kinds of drivers: those who make dust & those who eat it.
181:
Live long enough to be a problem to your kids.
182:
Clear the Road, I AM SIXTEEN
183:
My child is an honor student at the state penitentiary.
184:
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
185:
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
186:
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
187:
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
188:
How may I ignore you today?
189:
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
190:
My favorite color is chocolate.
191:
Listen to the silence.
192:
My child beat up your honor student.
193:
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
194:
Editing Is A Rewording Activity
195:
More people I meet, more I like my dog.
196:
Entropy Isn't What It Used To Be
197:
To you it's a six-pack; to me it's a support group.
198:
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
199:
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
200:
Lord, please save me from your followers.
201:
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
202:
Do Vegetarians eat animal crackers?
203:
Suburbia: Where they cut down all the trees and then name streets after them.
205:
One more repo and I'll be debt free.
206:
I brake for hallucinations.
207:
Does The Name Pavlov Ring A Bell?
208:
In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
209:
If it weren't for people like you, nobody else would have an above average IQ.
210:
YES this is my truck, NO I won't help you move.
211:
My child sold your HONOR STUDENT the answers to the test.
212:
Look before you open your eyes.
213:
Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
214:
If it's tourist season, does that mean we can shoot them?
215:
Santa's Elves Are Just A Bunch Of Subordinate Clauses
216:
Earth Is The Insane Asylum For The Universe
217:
I hate bumper stickers
219:
Do unto others before they do unto you.
220:
All generalizations are false.
221:
I drive like this to piss you off.
222:
No prohibiting allowed.
224:
If you understand something today, it must be obsolete.
225:
People who think they know what they're doing are especially annoying to those of us who do.
226:
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
227:
On your mark, get set, go away.
228:
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
229:
The worst day of fishing is better than the best day at work.
231:
We're Spending our Kids Inheritance
232:
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
233:
I don't do mornings.
234:
He who angers you, conquers you.
235:
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
236:
If you can't take a joke, take a hike.
237:
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
238:
Thank God I'm an atheist.
239:
Life is a lesson you'll learn it when you're through.
240:
Support bacteria! It's the only culture some people have.
241:
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
243:
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
244:
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
245:
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either.
246:
Why be difficult - Be impossible
247:
I've forgotten more than I've ever learned.
248:
Unless you're the lead dog, the view doesn't change.
249:
Forget World Peace. Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
250:
Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
251:
I'm the kind of person my parents want me to stay away from.
252:
Lets get along with me.
253:
I know...I know...pull over
254:
Your body would look good in my trunk.
255:
Don't worry about life; you're not going to survive it, anyway.
256:
Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.
258:
Diplomacy is saying "Nice Doggy" until you find a rock.
259:
Oh well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes.
260:
It's always too early to quit.
261:
Don't be stupid. We have politicians for that.
262:
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
263:
I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability.
264:
God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
265:
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
266:
OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
267:
You know your getting older when Happy Hour is a nap.
268:
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
269:
Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.
270:
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
271:
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
272:
Look out! Behind you!
273:
Help starve a feeding bureaucrat.
274:
I've lowered my expectations to the point where they've already been met.
275:
Life is just one of those things.
276:
If you can read this bumper sticker you are driving too close.
277:
This car is constipated: hasn't passed a thing all day.
278:
The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.
279:
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
280:
I'd love to trade Caller I.D. for "Caller I.Q."
281:
S.O.B.E.R. - Sick Of Banning Everyone's Rights
283:
I think, therefore we have nothing in common.
284:
Do you trust a government that doesn't trust you with guns?
285:
Professionals are predictable - amateurs are DANGEROUS.
286:
I am not speeding, I am qualifying.
287:
Don't Follow me I am LOST!
288:
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
289:
This vehicle insured by Smith and Wesson.
290:
Getting on your feet requires getting off your butt.
291:
My child was inmate of the month at the County Jail.
292:
Gravity is a myth. The Earth sucks.
293:
Warning: I brake for hallucinations
294:
If you can read this you're in range.
295:
I'm not your monkey.
296:
Previous owner had an honor student.
297:
I can go from zero to bitch in 2.2 seconds.
298:
The squeaky wheel is often replaced.
299:
I souport publik edekasion
300:
If you have something to say, raise your hand, and place it over your mouth.
301:
Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven't sent one out.
302:
It's a wonderful life.... With me.
303:
Life's expensive; drive defensive.
304:
Minds are like parachutes, they only function when open.
305:
What's another word for Thesaurus?
306:
Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
307:
Fat people are hard to kidnap.
308:
Death is the consequence of being alive.
309:
Empty the prisons - Make room for congress
310:
If you can read this I can deploy your air bag.
311:
Talk only if you can improve on the silence.
312:
Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
313:
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
314:
Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.
315:
If you think education is expensive, Try ignorance.
316:
Someday your prince will come. Mine got lost, took a wrong turn, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
317:
Driver carries less than $20 IN AMMUNITION...
318:
If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
319:
You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool.
320:
I'm an optimist, but I don't think it helps.
321:
Not a RULES type of girl.
322:
Don't steal, the government hates competition.
323:
My IQ test came back negative.
324:
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
325:
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
326:
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
327:
God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
328:
Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!
329:
You are never too old to learn something stupid.
330:
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
331:
Pain is inevitable, misery is optional.
332:
THINK before you ACT.
333:
Life is a glitch in the universal program; death is just the programmer's way of debugging.
334:
My karma ran over your dogma.
335:
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
336:
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't wanna be there when it happens.
337:
I Was Born Brilliant; Education Ruined Me
338:
Not all who wander are lost.
339:
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
340:
Don't wish for it...work for it.
341:
My other car is a piece of junk.
342:
The number of people staring at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions.
343:
When God made man, she was only joking.
344:
Honk if you are God.
345:
Please don't hit me, I'm a pedestrian trapped in a car.
346:
Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle.
347:
It's time to pull over and let the air out of your brain.
348:
Too many freaks, not enough circus's.
349:
Have a nice day... somewhere else.
350:
Never get into an argument with the schizophrenic person and say, "Just who do you think you are?"
351:
Life is a banquet... So EAT ME!
352:
Don't believe everything you think.
353:
Humpty Dumpty didn't fall...he was pushed.
354:
My other wife is beautiful.
355:
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
356:
Due to budget cuts, light at end of tunnel will be out.
357:
Never get into a fight with an ugly person, they have nothing to lose.
358:
Don't judge a book by its movie.
359:
Life's a garden, dig it.
360:
I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it.
361:
When all else fails, lower your standards.
362:
The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and BANG it Happened.
363:
Do not play a leap frog with a unicorn.
364:
I'm not littering... I'm donating to the earth.
365:
Stop global whining.
366:
Heck is for people that don't believe in Gosh.
367:
I got this car for my wife...not a bad trade.
368:
Everything I need to know I learned in prison
369:
Growing old is inevitable...Growing up is optional.
370:
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
371:
I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
372:
Smile and the world smiles with you, Fart and you stand alone.
373:
Do not put a question mark where God put a period.
374:
God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.
375:
Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
378:
Flying saucers are real, the Air force doesn't exist.
379:
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
380:
Everything is possible, just not too probable.
381:
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
382:
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
383:
What If There Were No Hypothetical Questions?
384:
If you can read this... I've lost my trailer.
385:
I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.
386:
I'm only here to ANNOY!!
387:
To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid.
388:
Is reading in the bathroom considered multitasking?
389:
Remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
390:
Stupid is as stupid does.
392:
No Sense Being Pessimistic. It Wouldn't Work Anyway.
393:
Avenge Yourself - Be a problem to your children
394:
I didn't believe in reincarnation in my last life either.
395:
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
396:
If money could talk, it would say goodbye.
397:
Which came first, the woman or the department store?
398:
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog.
399:
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
400:
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
401:
Don't miss heaven for the world.
402:
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
403:
I think, therefore I'm dangerous.
404:
I SWERVE to HIT People at Random
405:
It's all a pigment of your hallucination.
406:
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
407:
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
408:
Reality is a figment of your imagination.
409:
Gun control is a steady hand.
410:
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
411:
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
412:
Jesus is coming... Look busy.
413:
It doesn't matter what temperature a room is; it's always room temperature.
414:
How's my driving? Dial 1-800-YOU-SUCK
415:
To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.
416:
The Earth Is Full - Go Home
417:
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
418:
My wife said "If you go hunting or fishing one more time I'm going to leave you" ...I'm sure going to miss her.
419:
Rehab is for quitters.
420:
He who hesitates is not only lost but miles from the next exit.
421:
If your stupid and you know it, honk your horn.
422:
The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
423:
Watch out for the idiot behind me.
424:
Born free...Taxed to death.
425:
Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
426:
I used to live in the real world, then I got evicted.
427:
The sky is always bluer at the top of the windshield.
428:
Metaphors be with you.
430:
Life sucks, then you die.
431:
Procrastinators Unite!... Tomorrow
432:
I am not unemployed, I am a consultant.
433:
Jesus loves you, but everyone else still thinks you're a jerk.
434:
It took 40 years to make me look this good.
435:
Romance is like a game of chess: one false move and you're mated.
436:
Computers help us to do stupid things faster.
437:
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
438:
Faster than a speeding ticket.
439:
T.G.I.F - Thank God I'm Female.
440:
If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.
441:
I tried being normal once...I didn't like it.
443:
Pardon My Driving. I'm Reloading.
444:
God must love stupid people...he made so many.
445:
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
446:
I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!
447:
Buy American while there is still time
448:
House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
449:
I love my country. It's the government that pisses me off.
450:
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
451:
Where There's A Will, I'm In The Way.
452:
Never judge a girl by her bumper sticker.
453:
Now That You Are Kissing My Bumper... Wanna Get Married?
454:
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
455:
I'm only driving this way to piss you off.
456:
Don't drive and derive. Alcohol and calculus don't mix.
457:
Rap Is To Music What Etch-A-Sketch Is To Art
458:
If it's too loud, you're too old.
459:
I WANT YOU to stay far away from me
460:
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
461:
Do I look like a people person?
462:
There is no shortcut to anywhere worth going.
464:
Life's way too short to stay on topic.
465:
If you don't like my attitude, stop looking at my stickers.
466:
Proud mother of a delinquent child.
467:
I'm not as dumb as you look.
468:
Life is like a straw; it sucks.
469:
I've given up trying to escape from reality; they always find me anyway.
470:
Nothing political is correct.
471:
What you don't do is always more important than what you do do.
472:
Give me coffee and no one gets hurt
473:
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
474:
No matter where you go; you're there.
475:
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
476:
It's easier to child-proof your gun than to bullet-proof your child.
477:
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
478:
If at first you don't succeed, the hell with it.
479:
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
480:
Don't drink to drown your sorrow. Sorrow knows how to swim.
481:
I'm back by popular demand.
482:
Have you ever noticed how nothing is impossible for those who don't have to do it?
484:
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
485:
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
486:
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
487:
Dogs think they're human. Cats think they're gods.
488:
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
489:
Men are idiots and I married their king.
490:
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
491:
Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.
492:
Don't let schooling get in the way of your education.
493:
I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference.
494:
Deep down, divers care.
495:
So many pedestrians, so little time.
496:
My God can beat up your God.
497:
I don't think, therefore I am not.
498:
Help Stamp Out And Eradicate Superfluous Redundancy
499:
The more I learn, the less I understand.
500:
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
501:
When I married Mr. Right, I didn't know his first name was "always."
502:
Honk if you want to learn sign-language.
503:
If you write "WASH ME" on my truck, I'll carve "RESUSCITATE ME" on your chest!
504:
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
505:
Crime wouldn't pay, if the government ran it.
506:
In theory, everything works.
507:
I am not a bum - My wife works
508:
I used up all my sick days so I called in dead.
509:
I is a college student
510:
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
511:
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
512:
This car is protected by an anti-theft sticker.
513:
You can't be late until you show up.
514:
If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
515:
My reality check just bounced
516:
Go on, I will see you at the next light.
517:
I'm not tailgating, I'm just trying to keep my bumper on.
518:
Judge me all you want. Just keep the verdict to yourself.
519:
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
520:
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
522:
Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.
523:
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
524:
Do you think you could drive any better with that cell phone stuck up your butt?
525:
Talk is cheap - until you hire a lawyer.
526:
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
527:
I took a pain pill. Why are you still here?
528:
Don't miss today worrying about tomorrow.
529:
I'm Just Driving This Way To Piss You Off.
530:
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
531:
Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!
532:
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
533:
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
534:
Horn not working, watch for hand signals
535:
I'm looking forward to regretting this.
536:
Boldly Going Nowhere